Soft Words Win Hard Hearts

This is a truth long known by ladies who in days of warfare and conflict had to ease the mood of men inured to suffering and battle.

But diplomats who wish to bring about peace and reconciliation also have need of such skills. The natural instinct of a battle hardened warrior might be to threaten and bluster but this often just gets the backs of opponents up and guarantees constant conflict.

"Speak softly and carry a big stick", is oft quoted advice for those involved in negotiations. In other words don't try to rub your power advantage into your opposite numbers face but a gentle hint of potential accompanied with conciliatory words can lead to meaningful negotiations.

Put your foot down where you mean to stand.

Put your foot down where you mean to stand.

This makes you think of ancient warriors placing their standard and vowing to fight to the death like Ancient Greek Spartans or Cheyenne Dog Soldiers.

Many an old time battle was lost or won entirely on the nature of the terrain. The important point here is to be sure of your ground before getting into a conflict. This was literally true in war where charging at an enemy and discovering your horses were stuck in a bog invited disaster. This taught the general idea of not getting into a dispute without a good grasp of all the details and likely consequences. If you take a stand on something you are "pinning your colors to the mast" and can expect opponents to start taking pot shots.

This applies to your everyday life when you decide to be confrontational on a point of principle or in a conflict with your boss or a customer. You must make sure you have the advantage before taking action "be sure of your ground"; ideally this means you will know your facts and be in the right. If you are confident of the outcome you can then deal firmly with the problem.