Solitude is often the best society

Human beings are naturally social animals; we belong in a group and it is within the tribe, clan, workplace or family that we find our identity. We tend to define ourselves by our relationships with others -- our place in the pecking order, our friends, our enemies. We need others and they need us; but not all the time.

There comes a point in all lives when we need to be alone. Time to think and be free of distractions. Time to hurt and heal when we cannot cope with the daily stress. Thinkers and creative people often need to withdraw from everyday society in order to work without the demands of social obligations. To devote your entire mind to a problem or produce a creative work a time of withdrawal is often essential.

We have many examples from the days of monks and hermits who sought spiritual salvation in private contemplation and meditation. Eccentric scientists and inventors have lived recluse-like lives obsessed by the requirements of total concentration, and regarding the intruder as a threat.

Excesses of this can lead to mental breakdowns as the individual loses contact with reality, so it doesn't do to go to extremes.

One of the most delightful withdrawals is that of the poet who seeks solitude and inspiration from Nature but soon returns to delight all society with the beauty of words, images and form.

"For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils."

Daffodils: William Wordsworth (1770-1850).

What everyone says must be true

Or is it?

The Wisdom of Crowds (by James Surowiecki) has been a popular book in recent times where the author put forward the view that the cumulative opinions of a large group of people tends to get the right answer to problems. Perhaps in some circumstances they do. But anyone who has been around any time will know that what everyone is saying can sometimes be wrong.

Stock market manias tend to happen when the herd has become convinced that some item is a sure fire winner and you have to have it. Common-sense flies out the window and people suspend disbelief because they want the story to be true. Just as we made ourselves believe in fairy tales when we are young because we wanted to experience the thoughts and emotions of the story so, in adult life, we want to believe the impressive person who tells us we are all going to be rich.

If it is too good to be true it usually isn't. Always be wary of something you desperately want to be true; try to have it checked out in every rational way possible.

Remember, the folk who make the most money in stocks tend to be those who take a contrarian view at the right time.

The wound that bleedeth inwardly is most dangerous

This can be taken as straight forward medical advice but like all proverbs has several layers of meaning.

A sensitive individual suffering a slight can brood silently on the perceived insult and fall to plotting revenge. The sad cases of gunmen opening up on fellow students could be an example of this. To allow perceived slights and wrongs to fester and grow poisonous is not good for the balance of the mind.

People need to be able to express their sense of grievance and find a solution. Good, open, honest debate is a useful method of identifying problems and enables corrective action to be taken. The trouble is, most people leave things too late and by then it has become critical. The boil must be lanced. It is useful to remember: A trouble shared is a trouble halved.

The pain of lost love can "bleed inwardly" but what is done is done. It is OK to mope a bit whilst readjusting your thoughts and emotions but that can't go on for ever. Write a sad poem, share the sorrow with friends, they have probably been there, or play a sad song -- then get on with life. There will be better times ahead.

Humor is also a good way of diffusing tension: a timely joke, or helping the over serious to learn to laugh at themselves, is psychologically very healthy. As the say: Laughter is the best medicine.

Work won't kill but worry will

Stress, high blood pressure, ulcers, heart attacks, nervous breakdowns can all be linked to stress. The stressed individual has difficulty sleeping, leading to tiredness, making it difficult to cope, causing more stress -- the classic vicious circle. Where you have genuine problems then positive worrying, i.e. thinking out how to deal with them, is good. Stay constructive and seek advice. Proverbs such as: Where there's a will there's a way; Trial and error constitute a waste of time, try thinking first and It is always darkest before the dawn, can help you to get perspective.

The thing to avoid is worrying about stuff you can't do anything about. Letting little niggles prey on your mind and blowing the problem out of all proportion, should be avoided. Why worry, you'll die if you do and you'll die if you don't? a cheerful optimist once told me. Ask yourself: will what you are currently worrying about matter in a week's time or a month or two? Chances are you will have totally forgotten about it by then.

Work of the wrong sort probably can kill, so, if you are in a totally unsuitable job perhaps you should worry about it -- and then take remedial action.

The worth of a thing is best known by the want

This is a generalisation of the more specific and well known: You never miss the water till the well runs dry. We normally take a lot of things for granted: parental affection, partner's faithfulness, job, bus service, etc. and its true importance is only felt when something goes wrong. It is then that we realise just how relevant and important the missing factor is to our lives and well-being.

This idea also touches upon the basic economic law of supply and demand. Scarcity pushes up prices and increasing supply lowers them. Some of the strange and unexpected behaviour of the stock and commodity markets can be explained by this simple law.

The word "want" has two meanings: "a lack of" or "a desire for", and the originator of the saying is using a play on words plus alliteration to emphasise the point.

They say so" is half a lie

This saying appears to be referring to the use of quotations where you might back up an argument by referring to the wit or wisdom of someone who is regarded as an authority. But it may more precisely be referring to the habit we have of remembering something heard or read and using it to excuse, qualify or back up a statement. "They" being the collective wisdom of everybody and anybody who has expressed an opinion.

When we are trying to persuade someone to a course of action we might say: "Well they say it is a good thing." We perhaps doubt our own wisdom and are relying on the authority of others. However, in our heart of hearts we might not agree with "They" but are willing to deploy their opinions as a means of convincing the other party or of winning an argument.

From a defensive point of view you should ask who exactly are "they" and why, when and where did they say what they said. Your antagonist will probably be left floundering trying to remember just where they came across the opinion, if they really did.

Pride comes before a fall

What is pride? A feeling of self-importance? A sense of being a bit better than others? We all feel it at sometimes and it can be a healthy thing if we are separating ourselves from those whose ways really are appalling. But if it is just false pride we are empty fools puffed up with our own self importance.

Pride in a job well done is a rewarding state of mind when we know that something we did is to a high standard and our peers acknowledge it. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that, in its proper time and place. So where does the "fall" bit come in?

If you have become complacent and start to enjoy being superior to others you set yourself up for disappointment when someone bigger and better than you comes along, and your prestige takes a tumble. Suddenly you are yesterday's person, and all your greatness shrivels.

The poet, Percy Bysshe Shelley, expressed it very well in his poem:

OZYMANDIAS I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
"Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.